I know what I want… how do I get there?
- “I realized that if I give attention to my feet and let them support me when I stand, I have zero back pain!”
- “It’s counterintuitive to everything I’ve ever been told… I think I need to stretch it out like crazy but with you I do the smallest movement actually utilizing the joint and the pain is gone. I’m just going to go with it!”
- “There was zero effort. Zero – the leg just floated up. I’ve NEVER felt that.”
- “I can actually breathe. And all of the upper back tension – ALL of it – is gone. That’s amazing…”
- They accept what is. They know they can’t go back into the past to pre-injury or their “old body” but they also recognize that they’re not done yet. They’ve got a lot of living left to do.
- They are insatiably curious to learn more. And when they do learn more, they see potential to feel better yet again and not defeat of “Something else to figure out! Ugh.”
- They are willing to consistently do the work because they know it is worth it. They know there is no magic pill and they know that quick fixes tend to address symptoms and not the deeper desire to heal.
The really great news is that even if you don’t see yourself in these three statements, with practice you can still integrate a new way of moving. A new way of feeling. A new way of being. It all starts with a simple question:
Where are you starting?
If we are not honest about our starting place, progress is all but impossible. Fighting what is through judgmental words like “My hip will always hurt.” or “Life will always be crazy.” or “I can’t do anything right.” or perhaps “I can push through the pain.” or “If I slow down, I’ll never start again.” All of these thought spirals are distinctly fighting the “what is.” They are fighting the present because, gosh darnit, your brain doesn’t like it here and it wants O-U-T.
In other words, how do we get to where we want to go in GoogleMaps if we don’t know the address from which to start? Or if we pretend the address is actually in a different city than where we are? Yikes. That roadmap would be a mess. And we’d never arrive… because we wouldn’t know where we were starting.
You must accept that you are at point A in order to travel to point B.
So, remember those ugly judgments I mentioned above? Well, those are your mind’s way of fighting the reality of what is now. On top of that, the mind is not a fan of change. The mind perceives more work in change when, in actuality, there is way more work in fighting what “is.”
In my experience, when I start fighting what is, my thoughts get to racing and I can’t turn them off. The thoughts are on overdrive looking for a shortcut. “ANY WAY OUT, PLEASE!” they beg of me. But I learn over and over again, there is no shortcut. I’m still at A and now, I’m just like a dog spinning in circles trying to figure out a comfy bed… and still on A! The negative thoughts about “Who I am” and “How I am” start to feed a sensation in my body that is like quicksand taking me down. Then I pause and go “Ohhhh… Here I am again in a battle against me. I am fighting “what is.””
So, what to do?
Well, I do what my clients cited above do. I listen to my body’s sensations instead of my mind’s hapless chatter.
Your body’s sensations are objective. They are constantly talking to you about what you need. It’s just that it’s a new language to learn and you might not have the fluency to respond to it quite yet. But you can learn the language. I have full faith that everyone can learn the language with diligent and consistent practice.
And so – an actionable step for you right now. If you find yourself struggling to accept “what is” like I do sometimes, watch this clip. It is spot on for exploring accepting “What is” instead of tumbling around with the stories in your head.
What You Practice Grows Stronger
Arriving fully and completely at A is the first step toward getting to B. Getting there.
I’d love to hear your thoughts.