My kids have been tracked out since June 6^th.

Scratch that.

My kids have been out of school since June 6^th.

Scratch that.

At least one kid has been out of school since June 6^th.

Truth.
(Took me a few rounds to get there but made it.)

First, we had almost 5 weeks of track out. That was lovely albeit crazy. Camping, working, day camps, swim team (year round and summer), solo parenting, lake trips, Virginia sojourns, death and fireworks.

Then on July 11th we had back to school for these year round kiddos.

Except we didn’t.

Because my youngest was sick on Day 1.
So two went off to their new year of learning;
one stayed home.

For the entire week.

Sooooo. Next we had Week 2 of school.

During which I was off in the mountains of North Carolina meditating and yoga nidraing the whole time. Husband was here with the 3 kiddos overseeing life and the youngest’s transition into third grade. (Change is hard. Shew.)

And now we’re in Week 3 of school.

And my 13 year old is sitting across from me. Actually, he’s lying across from me spread out on the couch, Day 4 at-home with a gnarly respiratory and bonus symptoms virus.

Ugh. Darn. Blech.

I haven’t seen a client in over a month now.
(Do I know how to be with people any more?)

I haven’t been in my office in weeks.

I haven’t written up post-session notes in so long, pondering what went well and what I could have done differently; what I saw and what I assuredly missed; what I’m curious about for next time.

There has been so much twisty turny in the past 7 ½ weeks.

There has been so much beautiful in the past 7 ½ weeks.

I’ve missed a lot of the beautiful. For sure.

Life is friggin’ hard.

I mean it. Life is hard. There is relentless messy and heavy and no-answer quandaries. There is pain and yes, suffering, aplenty.

But there is also beautiful.

It bubbles up and through the crevices.
It squeezes in and through the cracks.
It seeps down and around the obstacles.

Life is hard. With moments of beautiful.

It’s all always there (here).

Any moment holds the hard.
Any moment holds the grace.

There is no mutual exclusion in this adventure.
There is hard and frustrating.
There is adventurous and exciting.
There is calm and quietude.
There is all of it.

There is room for all of it.

Make way.
Make way.

A life is coming.

Make way.
Make way.

A life is going.

Bow down.
Bow down.

Yes.

Life is hard, with moments of beautiful.
Bow down.

In awe,
Rachel

p.s. If you want to lean into this paradox, join me this Saturday afternoon, July 29th at Cary Yoga Collective for “Touching Joy: An iRest Yoga Nidra workshop.” We’ll unpack this more and explore what’s possible.