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happy birthday to me

Tomorrow is my birthday.

I’ll be 32, I think.

2022-1980 = 32.
Yes, that’s right.

Oops.
Nope, that’s wrong.

42. I’ll be 42.

When I wrote 32, it felt a little lighter.

A time hop of sorts.

Much had not happened at 32 that has now happened at 42.

When I write 42, there is a bit more weight to it in my heart, in my chest, and in my throat.

There’s a bit more sadness.

But there’s also something else.

A bit more awe.

At all of it.

I don’t think I would trade the awe for no sadness. I don’t think I would.

Because the awe, the wonder, the magic, the grace, the stunning crispness of the moments I catch in full technicolor.

They are poignant.

They are poignant because they are Now.

Crisp and clear around the edges.

Fading into next with the shimmer glow smudge.

Now.

It is miraculous.

Now.

Three things I wish for you on my birthday are 3 things that have brought me to Now. Like this.

The first one is,
the Pause.

Learning to quiet, to still, to reject the “We are allergic to stillness” stance that our society seems to have adopted. To stop and become an epicenter of the rotation. For a single moment in time to be the center.

The second one is,
the Feeling.

Not good, not bad, not right, not wrong. Just the chance for pulse and throb and flow to be in your veins, arms and torso. To feel shimmer and shake inside of you like the power that it is. Always and forever it is.

The third one is,
the Hope.

The suction of how hard it can all feel, how gnarly messy twisty you can pull against and yet how steadily, how magnetically, the slipstream grabs you and allows you to keep your head above water if you go with her. Go with her.

So that’s it. That’s what I wish for you on this eve of my birth. (Doesn’t that sound fancy?)

The Pause. The Feeling. The Hope.

One of the yoga tools that is central to my clarity is consistent Yoga Nidra. I’m teaching an iRest yoga nidra workshop on Saturday, January 7th, from 1:30 to 4:30pm, to slide you into this incredibly accessible, efficient and effective piece of my own practice. Find all the details and a chance to register here.

Please join me if clarity is something you seek.

Join me if the Pause, the Feeling, and the Hope are gifts that you desire too.

Happy birthday to me. 😊

Take good care,
Rachel

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