It’s 8:30pm. On a Wednesday night.

Dude next door is in his carport with a sawzall (I think) cutting apart his adorable hobby-time VW beetle.

When he takes a test drive down the neighborhood street, it’s literally the exterior frame around the interior seats… no doors, no trunk.

There *might* be a hood. I can’t guarantee it.

Overall, it’s highly entertaining.

My kids love it.

So do I.

And neighbor guy is truly fabulous in his soft spoken, humble smile, highly skilled self.

Listening to his power tools at this time of evening makes me nostalgic for my way-back-then teenage brother with his 1970’s International Scouts up on concrete blocks missing various critical vehicle pieces on any given day.

(I’m assuredly digressing from my intended audience here but if you’re still following then my trucker hat’s off to you.)

The point is.

Neighbor guy next door has a power tool going at 8:35pm.
(Now.)

Problem (for me) is

at 8:35pm,

I want it ALL to be

The kids are finally in bed.
My husband’s out of town.
The cats are done fighting.

It’s supposed to be quiet.

But it’s not.

So here’s the question.

Can I be content with that?

Can I be calm, still waters, and pure peace at the whine of the sawzall?

bah.

Heck, no!

I feel the buzz in my chest, a tightness in my throat and a grabbing in my back.

huh.
Look at that.

A thing is happening out there.

Next, lots of things happen “in here.” (aka the body)

That’s the game.

It’s a call and response of sorts.
From the outside world to my body.

We interact, intertwine, and interplay.

So the question isn’t so much,
“Can I be content with the sawzall?”

but instead,

“Can I be content with the sawzall
AND
this chitter stir shiver inside thing
that is happening in response?”

Well, yeah.

Yeah, I can do that.

Except when I can’t.

And when I can’t, I suppose I’m discontent (or uncontent or subcontent or decontent or whatever the real or made-up negative is that sounds fun and best).

And then. Then I get to wonder,
can I be content with being discontent?

hehe.

Over time,
and practice,
(lots of good and annoying practice)
our state of being becomes less personal and more…

interesting.

A worthwhile exploration.

Of self.

Of context.

Of all on the vine and in the weave of the vines.

I wish this for all of us. 

That we could feel our lives and ourselves a little less personally and with a little more intrigue.

It takes perspective, practice, and perseverance to dive in this way.

But the rewards are breathtaking.
They really are.

If you’re ready to try out the job of explorer, join me for the iRest Yoga Nidra 4 week series at Cary Yoga Collective. It starts today, Thursday, January 11th, from 1:45-2:45pm and there’s still space to signup here.

Or – if you need to miss today – you could drop in for the next 3 classes to build out this exploration. This wonder. This curiosity.

Of you.

This path of reflection, growth, and healing can be a doozy.

Yoga offers us some wickedly helpful tools along the way.

Come be in good company as you do good work.

On you and for you.

Hope to see you soon.

Take good care,
Rachel